OK .... so I am having a little trouble understanding my pastor right now. I know he means good by what he does, but he has requested the me and Jason write out a detailed budget so that he might be able to see what bills we owe and how much money we make each year. I am failing to see why he needs to know what our bills our to marry us?!?!?
I know that financial difficulties are the number one reason for divorce, but I don't see why my pastor needs to know how much money I pay out for bills. I don't know if it just ridiculous or if I'm just over reacting about this situation. If we do not comply with his "pre-marital requirements" he will not marry us; and it is a little late to be trying to find another pastor right now.
On a different note I have totally completed my veil and have mailed out most of the invitations. :) I think my excitement has maybe gone up a smidgen that is until the little situation above.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
I don't think it is any of the pastor business how much money you pay out in bills. It seems to me he is just nosey and wants to know how much you have left that you can give to the church. I have never heard of a pastor asking that of someone before they get married.
Why does he want to know that?
Your guess is as good as mine, my guess was that he wants to know how much we can tithe; but NEWS for him .... neither me or Jason are members to that church and we DONT tithe there. I am afraid if i tell the pastor that i am not doing the budget he will not marry us. What do you think I should do?
well It's really close to the wedding and if you don't do the budget than he might not let you use the church.
And if you do the budget than he will know how much you can tithe. I would think he would know that you and Jason our not members of the church.
You can always have the justice of the peace come and marry you. You will haft to pay him, but that is always an option.
Do you and Jason plan on becoming members of that church?
We attend the church on a some-what regular babsis, mostly for the kids on Wednesday night and our counciling program on Sundays. I dont know if Jason wants to be a member or not, but I realy dont have a desire with the way they treat people there.
When Pastor's do premarital counselling, they often dig into the deep stuff in order to see how in sync you guys are in handling different situations. I'm not saying that asking you for a specific budget of your living expenses is right- in fact I think that is going overboard a bit, HOWEVER, I think if he asked you guys "broad" questions to see how you would handle money situations, it could be helpful. Bob and I are quite different in the way we handle living expenses/income. He is a Big SPENDER not saver, and I am more of a saver- payer of bills. I think going into a marriage with more understanding of how it's going to be, and if you are willing to work at the differences might be a good thing.
Anyhow, I think you should be upfront with your pastor- Ask him WHY he needs to know specific information, maybe his answer will surprize you, and if you think it is because of tithing, 2 things might happen...You might throw him offguard and he might stumble for an answer, or you really need to consider finding another place of worship after you are married, because that is wrong! You aren't going to "get" anything spiritual out of a church that you don't like, or a pastor you don't like....There really are good churches out there, and there might be one better suited for your family.
He may just surprize you though, and answer similar to what I just wrote, and then you might feel better about the whole situation, that he is speaking out of love for the two of you, so you don't get trapped into a marriage ending in divorce because you didn't discuss important things together first. I don't know, these are just my thoughts, I still say confront your pastor and talk to him about what you are writing here!
I have been living with Jason for 2 years, I know what our budget is and so does the pastor. he knows we are in debt and I most definitly know that we are. There are not realy any surprises left for me to find out with Jason. We have completed our pre-step family marriage class and have dissused a great deal of our expectations for our marriage and of whom will handle what in the family. I feel most comforable entering into this marriage knowing that it will not end in divorce (because if he cheats ill KILL him :) ) Any who, We are a few weeks away from the wedding, I am extremly stressed, I quit my job, and I think that im gonna call the pastors bluff... he AINT gonna get he bedget he wanted!
Post a Comment